I feel rotten. I gave in to my negative thoughts. I gave in to trying to control life. I need to change my thoughts/attitude before and not after the fact. It does no good to try and fix the damage when I could have prevented the damage. I need to let go of control. I know that God is trying to teach me that I can’t control anything, no matter how hard I try. I need to start listening. Life is simply unpredictable. Good things will happen and bad things will happen and there is no way to control when those things will happen. I think I need to go skydiving and really take in the whole experience. Free falling out of an airplane, no control of what may happen. That would definitely teach me a lesson.
I feel sick and guilty when I think negatively. I feel weak. I feel like I’m taking the easy way out. I want to change. I feel better when I focus on the positive things. I feel happy. I feel strong. I know there is a power to positive thinking that would beat the crap out of negative thinking. I’m going to stop taking the easy way out, sometimes the right thing to do takes more effort. I have good things going on in my life and even better, good people in my life.
I’m sorry to those that have to deal with me struggling to learn and change. I am thankful you are a part of my life.
The song on the new Coldplay album, “Death and All His Friends” is great! I’ve been listening to it all day and Chris Martin’s explanation of the song is in line with my thoughts. “Well, this is supposed to be the theme of the album, really. We’re aware of all the bad stuff in life, you know — i.e. Death and all his friends — but that doesn’t mean you should ever give in to it, you know? So we all sing that bit together really loudly, as kind of a message to ourselves: never giving up and never focusing on the bad stuff too much.”
Music is amazing.